What Mirrors Reveal

I look in the mirror and I feel tears begin to blur my vision.

I see imperfections.

I see acne, I see stretch marks, I see dark circles underneath my eyes, I see love handles, I see red blotches on my arms, I see wrinkles.

I see nothing but everything I want to change.

I don’t see everything I am. I see everything I’m not.

I beat myself up.

I beat myself up mentally over and over again.

I look at my to-do list and don’t see the dozens of things crossed off. 

I see only what I didn’t get done.

I look at my work and see all that it’s not.

I look at my business and see all that I haven’t done yet, and all that I still need to do.

I look at what seems like a never-ending list of sessions I still need to edit.

Emails I have to respond to.

Text messages I have yet to reply to.

I call it an unproductive day, even if dozens of things have been crossed off.

I’m instantly in a bad mood if I accidentally sleep in on the weekends.

I refuse to take any days off from working.

I have a hard time concentrating on anything other than work.

Mirrors reveal to me the hours of sleep I’ve neglected to get. They reveal my acne from the evenings I didn’t wash my face due to falling asleep while working. They reveal the days I didn’t have time to get my exercise in. They reveal truth.

Last week I was talking to a dear friend of mine and fellow Photographer. We were discussing our dreams and goals. We started talking about our to-do lists, and I began going on and on about all that I needed to do, all that I hadn’t done yet for my business, and all that I’m not.

She said “Teresa, ya know, we have a lot to be proud of. I think we really are our own worst critics. We need to give ourselves grace. Yes we have things to do and things we need to get to, but we’ve really come far and we need to see that and be proud of that.”

And what she said was like a slap in the face to me.

I took a deep breath and said “you’re right.”

So tonight, I’m going to look in the mirror and for once, allow myself to not see everything that I’m not.

I’m going to look into the mirror and be proud. Proud of how far I have come, how far I dream to go, and all that I am.

Today I’m thankful for friends like my dear friend Victoria who stated truth that I really did need to hear.

We all need to hear that, friends.

No matter where you’re at in life, be proud.

You got up today. 

Sometimes even that is the biggest challenge.

Even if you didn’t shower, even if you got to work late, even if you indulged in that treat, even if you have still 100 things on your to-do list that haven’t been checked off in weeks, even if you let someone down, even if you spent more money than you should have, even if you feel like you aren’t “there yet,” friend, please know you are.

We’re human.

And being imperfect is a part of being human.

We all have goals and dreams, but we need to allow ourselves to climb the mountain slowly, in order to get to the top.

No matter how perfect you think someone may be, they aren’t.

They struggle just like you do, they have bad days, they have insecurities, and they have challenges they face just like you and me.

There is only one perfect person who has ever existed on this earth.

That is Jesus.

And He is with us every step of the way, friends.

He is climbing this mountain right by our sides, step after step.

And if we lean on Him and allow Him to walk alongside us on this journey, He is going to get us there. He is going to far exceed all of our expectations, goals, and dreams. He is going to lead us with His perfect hand. He is going to keep us sane. He is going to help us to realize that even through our imperfections and insecurities, we are all capable of so much more than we’re (most of the time), willing to believe.

No matter how much we beat ourselves up, we need to remember who created us. Who loves us. And who is there with us every second of this journey we call Life.